Giving Back for the Holidays

It's Thanksgiving and with it comes the pressing need to compile Christmas lists, eat tons of food and venture out into the madness of Black Friday. While these are all holiday traditions I enjoy, something about this time sends me into a funk each year. First, there is the recitation of things that I don’t really need, yet I am asking people to buy them for me. Second, I can’t help but wonder if the table loaded with food for my family of eight could feed a small village somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays and I love that joyful feeling in the air. However, I can’t help but wonder, have we begun taking it all for granted?

This got me thinking back, back to the origins of the holidays when Thanksgiving really was about spending time with your family and expressing gratitude for the blessings of one’s life. I started thinking about the scene in Little Women when the girls are each given a dollar for Christmas and then turn around and use it to buy gifts for their mother. Now, it’s hard to find a Christmas that hasn’t had hundreds, if not thousands of dollars poured into it.

Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s not that I want to see people go without for the holidays, rather, I wish we could share the experience with others who are not as fortunate. On that note, I would like to see the holidays become a time about giving, not just to family and friends, but to the community and strangers that need our help.

Today, there are so many ways to get involved in charitable activities. To begin with, why not go through the closet and bag up some of the clothes you’re never going to wear again? Be honest: what’s it been, a year or two? Norman has a Good Will on the corner of Lindsey and 12th Street. The holidays are an excellent time to give those unwanted clothes to someone who will use them.

Have some extra time on your hands? Why not volunteer at a soup kitchen or mentor an underprivileged child? If you’re looking for a more hands-on approach, Cleveland County Habitat for Humanity is always looking for volunteers to help in any way that they can. United Way also has many local opportunities for those willing to volunteer their time and energy to make a difference in someone else’s life.

Even the smallest act such as donating a few cans of vegetables to a food drive can make a difference in how someone else will spend their holidays. Personally, I would like to show my thankfulness this year not by indulging in another helping of pumpkin pie, but making sure someone else gets a slice.

Singles vs. Couples: Can we co-exist?

It's something that's been driving me nuts lately. It's the question that seems to be haunting so many friends, siblings and roommates alike, though they may not even realize it. It nags at you in back of your head when you wonder why your friend seems to constantly choose time with her boyfriend over you. You wonder why it has to be that way. You ask yourself, can't we all just get along? Sadly, the answer may be 'no.'

Speaking as a single, I know exactly how frustrating it is to be disregarded for a boyfriend time and time again. I also know what it's like to be anywhere near a PDA-obsessed couple; the smooching noises sometimes find their way into my dreams. I live in an apartment with a roommate whose boyfriend basically lives with us and I sometimes I want to strangle him. All in all, I know the ups and downs of the frustrating life of the single girl putting up with all those couples.

Recently, I had a thought. Could it be that couples are often just as frustrated with us singles? After all, singles are often the ones asking the couples to tone down the PDA. We're often the ones demanding that our friend spend the night away from her boyfriend and spend it with us. And usually, we're the ones telling her to dump the loser.

So how do they respond? By trying to couple the singles. I don't know how many times a friend has tried to hook me up with one of her boyfriend's friends in the hopes that we would hit it off. I used to think that it was purely out of the kindness of her heart. While to some extend this may be true, I now realize that they were efforts to bring us all the same level. Because if you think about it, wouldn't that make it all so much easier if we were all coupled off?

For that matter, what if we were all happily single? This is where retaliation from the singles comes into play. While the coupled friends are so busy trying to set us up on blind dates, we are trying to pull them away from their partners for girls night out in an attempt to remind them of the freedom of singledom. When the boyfriend does something shady, we try to convince her to break up with him. Not to say that we don't want what's best for her, because we do. Don't get me wrong. We want her to be happy. But who's to say that secretly, subconsciously, we don't think that her life and ours would just be easier if she was single like us?

So here's the big question: with everyone trying to assimilate everyone else into their own category, can singles and couples every co-exist harmoniously? As of now, I can find no evidence to support the assumption that this is possible. Perhaps the only solution is to silently withdraw to separate corners.

On the surface, this is a depressing thought. After all, we want to get along. That's why we spend so much effort trying to level the playing field. However, maybe everyone would be happier if instead of trying to change each other, we took a step back and accepted them for what they are. Maybe the singles just need to understand that their coupled friends have floated off into that shiny land above the clouds. Rather than try to bring them back to the single world, they should just accept it, move on and make more single friends. On the other end, couples could stop trying to "cure" us from our singleness.

In essence, we can all just agree to disagree. I'll stand on my side and you stand on yours. Maybe then we can all finally get along.

Steve Ward offers single women (like me) some tough lovin'

Vh1's hit reality show Tough Love is back for another season, giving host Steve Ward a brand new set of girls needing his brutal honesty to help them find a man. The show is designed to help single ladies in search of love find out what it is that is preventing them from finding a serious relationship. Ward uses a bootcamp technique where he puts the ladies in situations designed to help them re-evaluate the messages they send to men all the while trying to set them up with suitable bachelors.

This season, we are given a few of your standard, stereotypical singles: the woman just wanting a ring on her finger, the gold digger, and the woman too focused on her career to spend any time searching for a man. We are also given a few unique cases such as a fat-woman-gone-thin who can't seem to let go of her insecurities, a 30-something year old bartender who wants to quit the partying and settle down, and then there's the crazy rocker lady who, quite frankly, I believe is a little beyond Steve's help (no offense, Steve). An alumnus of the first season will also be returning to finish the journey she began last season.

This season looks like it's going to be an exciting and enlightening experience for the contestants and the viewers alike. Ward is sure to bring some excellent advice from a male perspective that will hopefully prove useful to the single ladies out there who just don't get what they're doin' wrong. Personally, I plan to watch every episode with pen and paper in hand.

Best Villains Ever

So I decided to dedicate a post to some of my favorite villains of all time. This list is not restricted to movies, but includes books and tv shows as well.

The Phantom (Phantom of the Opera) - I chose this character based on both Gerard Butler's performance in the film as well as the novel by Gaston Leroux. What I love most about this particular villain is the way the reader/viewer can't help but feel sorry for him after everything he has done. He was mistreated as a child because of his deformity and has grown up alone, hating the world. Though he murders several people, one cannot help but feel his agony and loneliness as he watched the one love of his life run away with another man.

Voldemort (Harry Potter) - Again I am basing my decision off of both the film version and the books. Why did I choose him? Voldemort is simply a bad ass. He is driven simply by his desire to be the most powerful man in existence and overcome anyone who tries to stand in his way. He is not driven by human emotions such as love or loyalty and it is debatable whether or not he ever really feels lonely. I love the way Voldemort is able to get inside people's heads and make the hero's goal seem virtually impossible. It makes the story so much more riveting.

Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians) - I love this villainess because she's simply crazy yet at the same time she has this sort of confidence that makes her seem stable. When I was little, I'm slightly ashamed to admit, I wanted to smoke just because she make that stick with the cigarette on it look so cool. I guess this is proof that movies do often influence kids in negative ways. I also just loved her swagger. While this chick was pretty messed up, I can't help but admire her just a little bit. I say this without any dislike towards animals, but at least she knew what she wanted and went for it!

Wicked Witch of the West (Wizard of Oz) - She is by-far one of the scariest women I have ever known. I'm sure it's something to do with her green skin, pointed features and voice simply dripping with malice. Even when she's just a normal woman in the beginning of the film, I have to say I am afraid of her. She just comes off so cold. Simply put, anyone who doesn't like little Toto must be evil.

Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada) - She's sort of like Voldemort in the way she puts her job before everything and doesn't let anything get in the way of her success, even her family. She has power, she has style and she doesn't mince words. This woman knows what she wants and always gets it.

Spencer Pratt (The Hills) - Wow, I don't even know where to begin with this guy. Most people call him a villain because he seems to puts his own needs before everyone else's. When his fiancee wants a big wedding, he convinces her to elope. When her sister is needing a place to stay, he kicks her out because he wants his couch to himself. Then there is the bundle of drama he creates nearly everyday, including making Heidi's mom cry, starting rumors about one of Heidi's closest friends, making his sister cry, and of course his numerous little quips that he has become infamous for. However, despite all of it, I can't help but tune in just to see what Spencer's going to do next. Whether it's posing as a screenwriter/agent, awkwardly stretching on the sidewalk, or making funny faces, I can't help but enjoy watching this Pratt.

So I am preparing for my stay in France next semester and am definitely excited. I was recently lucky enough to win a travel fellowship that will cover the cost of my airfare. It goes to show that if you complain enough, good things will eventually happen to you!

My most recent conundrum is deciding when to actually leave. I've been told that I should get there early so I can travel around a bit before classes begin. I know that if I were to have to leave Paris an hour after landing, it would probably break my heart. Perhaps I'll just get somewhat inexpensive hotel there and stay a couple days before taking a train down to Clermont Ferrand.

I have been making a mental list of all the places I want to go while in Europe. After having seen P.S. I Love You, I am dying to visit Ireland. It looks to green and natural compared to the United States. Also, and it's a long shot, but maybe I could meet a Gerard Butler look-alike. You never know. I wonder if it's just the movie or if all Irish guys can sing.

If nothing else, I have to see Italy. I hope to spend a week traveling from Venice to Florence and then down to Rome. I am absolutely ecstatic to see the ruins of old civilizations. To walk around those ancient cities would probably feel like a fantasy world to a girl who has only lived in the Southern U.S. all her life.

In order to go on this trip, however, I have to travel all the way to Houston to get a student visa. Unfortunately, the process cannot be done over the phone or any other technology. I was told that it will be extremely irrating when, after my 14-hour drive, I go up to a little old lady who puts a stamp on my paper and sends me on my way. I suppose it's a minor inconvenience though, compared to the experience I'm going to have in Europe.

There's still so much to do, but I am definitely very excited!

Must-see upcoming films this season

Now that the holidays are finally here, movies companies are pumping out films. What I like about winter movies is that unlike summer blockbusters, these films aren't all action-packed, but rather rely on drama and humor to provide more family-oriented films. I decided to blog a bit about a selection of movies that are now on my must-see list.

December 25th
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button- This film just looks enchanting, and not just because of its star, Brad Pitt. The movie is adapted from the novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald. In 1918, Button is born as an eighty-something year old man. He is the exact opposite of everyone else; as he gets older, his body grows younger. Essentially, he is aging backwards. This is a difficult concept for me to grasp, but I assume that while he is in his older body, he has the brain development of a child. He then matures as his body is in fact degenerating. It also appears that while he is the old man-child he makes friends with a girl. As the two go through their very different aging processes, they eventually meet up at roughly the same age and fall in love. I think this one will be a definite "thinker," but altogether enjoyable.

December 19th
Yes Man- While I don't think this will be an Oscar-worthy film, it definitely looks like one I'd go see for a good time with some friends. First of all, Jim Carrey is always entertaining. Second, while it is a comedy, I think this film might be a movie with a message. Carrey plays a man who goes through life negatively. One day, he is taken to a self-help program where he is told to start saying yes to everything. While the idea opens up a world of new and fun possibilities, it looks like there are definitely a few hilarious pitfalls along the way. All in all, it looks like a fun flick.

January 9th
Bride Wars- Starring Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson, this movie is about two best friends that make a childhood pact to both get married at the Plaza. When they both get engaged at roughly the same time, they go to set the date at their chosen venue. The problems start when a mix-up occurs and they are both down for the same day. When neither woman is willing to sacrifice her spot, they engage in an all-out battle of the brides. One of the funniest parts in the trailer is when the women pick a date and the wedding planner asks, "Don't you want to consult the grooms?" The women simply smile and say a simple "No." It looks like those weddings where you almost wonder if the man will be standing in the church in the end since he has absolutely no part in the actual planning of the event. It may not have a lot of depth, but it definitely looks like it will provide for a fun time.

February 6th
He's Just Not That Into You- While this film's a bit further away, this is by far the one I am most excited to see. With actors such as Drew Barrymore, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston and Scarlett Johansson, this film is based off of the best-selling book that I definitely intend to read. It looks like there will be multiple plot lines based on the relationships, and lack thereof, of several women. One is stuck with a boyfriend who doesn't want to tie the knot, another is attracted to a married man, while two other women are attempting to decode the dating mentality of today's single man. This one looks like it will inspire much conversation between men and women, or if no one else, myself and my gal pals. I have always been a fan of anything that exposes the differences between the genders and explores the various questions such as "Why didn't he call?" Well looks like the answer may be that "he's just not that into you."

Stretch out the pants, it's Turkey Day

The time has come once again for us to gather with our families around our kitchen table and indulge in so much food that we must undo our belts before moving on to that third helping of that delicious pie that only Grandma can make. Ah yes, it is Thanksgiving: the only day that is socially acceptable to plan entirely around food.

There's just something about this holiday that makes me feel giddy. I wouldn't say that it's the green bean casserole or the stuffing, although those are definitely contributing factors. I think it's the fact that this is one time during the year when family is almost obligated to be together. It's that one time where everybody, no matter how far away they live, comes together to enjoy lots of food and each other's company.

My family has a tradition we uphold every year. We have our Thanksgiving meal after having cooked all together throughout the morning. Afterward, we put up our Christmas tree ridiculously early. Later, we go see a massive collection of Christmas lights that are put up by a church in our city. It's a simple, predictable day, but I find myself looking forward to that familiarity more and more as each year passes.

While this is the time of year that we are supposed to be giving thanks for all the wonderful things we have and the family members who love us, I think we tend to forget that. I think that we focus entirely too much on how many days we get to take off from school and what kind of food we'll be eating. Perhaps if we actually took a look at certain families all over the world who have so little, we could really appreciate what it is that we have. So this year I plan on fully-appreciating the many things that I am privileged enough to have such as my health, my education, my loving family and my friends. I am hoping to get back to the root of what this holiday was meant to be and put the "thanks" back in Thanksgiving.